I struggled during my teenage years with self-pity. Self-pity so strong, that my own grandmother couldn't tell me a joke, or I would take it personally. It was a rare day that didn't pass without me crying my eyes out over some imagined wrong that have been done to me.
Finally, in my senior year of high school, I came to the end of my rope emotionally. There was no way for me (in or of myself) to try to undo the mental damage that had been done by my years of self-pity.
So, I wrote about it in my diary (early Sept '08). About being so frustrated with all of the self-pity and then I circled it, put an arrow below to a brief prayer I wrote. It simply said, "Lord show me what to do about this."
That prayer was answered. It would take me years to realize how quickly that prayer got answered by my Jesus.
Early that same month, on a Sunday, my pastor at the time, Mr. Krieg, started a series entitled, "Breaking Strongholds". The second week my pastor's words and several Scriptures were used by God to set me free from that stronghold.
The light bulb blinked on. I knew exactly what to do when those thoughts of self-pity came into my mind. I knew where those thoughts were coming from! I could tell the devil to get out of my mind!
Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
- 2 Corinthians 10:5 NKJV
Truly, I am not the same person that I used to be. I am a new creation, I am a brand new (wo)man. Old things are passed away, I've been born again.
I praise Jesus daily for the freedom He's given me. There is more freedom I've not yet stepped into. But by His grace and mercy, He will bring me into even more!
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